Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I can count

Why do almost all vertebrates have tails, but not apes and frogs?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Why is the US going after Canada after all? What is the reason for all this hostility?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Strange signals detected from Antarctic ice seem to defy laws of physics. Scientists are searching for an answer - Yahoo

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Trump Plans Biofuel Quota Boost, Seeks to Crimp Imports - Bloomberg

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

How do you handle your mother-in-law after you heard her talking badly about you in the next room?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I can read

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Why do flat earthers delete their answers after being proven wrong? Are they just being ignorant and arrogant?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Is the Las Vegas Grand Prix considered one of the "premier events on the Formula 1 calendar?"

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

14,000-year-old mummified 'puppies' weren't dogs at all, new research shows - KSL News

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have a reading level above third grade

Cal Raleigh hits 30th HR, but Mariners fall to Cubs amid high winds, heat - The Seattle Times

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for fakery

What do you think is the most powerful line in the song "Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien" by Édith Piaf?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Why do the Republican city officials at Springfield Ohio continue to deny that immigrants are eating pets to sabotage the Trump campaign, even though immigrant pet-eating is now widely believed to be true?

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Are there any Hollywood celebrities who never divorced? Why does it seem like celebrities are likely to get divorced frequently?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I actually pay taxes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand how hurricane paths work

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I see through liars

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says: